Bonding with your horse

I have owned horses all my life, and one thing I know for sure is that bonding with your horse is a critical first step in training. Of all the foals I have ever brought under saddle, the ones where getting on the horse for the first time was essentially a “non-event” were the ones I took to time to bond with first. Even most older horses, like rescues or a horse that was trained improperly, can be re-trained if you are willing to take the time to bond with the animal first.
So, how does one go about bonding with a horse? Well, I can narrow it down to three “easy” (tongue-in-cheek) steps.
Before I begin, there is a caveat. You should know that there are lots and lots of ways to do this, and everyone out there will have a different training method and a different opinion on what’s best.

Step One
Myself, I like the methods that are based on the principles of natural horsemanship. Step one, then, is largely about adopting a particular attitude. That is, you start by putting yourself in your horse’s shoes (no pun intended), and try to see him through the eye of another horse. Brush up on your natural horsemanship and get familiar with its precepts and basic ideas.

Step Two
Next, you need to just accept that this is not an overnight process and you will not be getting on your horse’s back right away. Like anything worth doing, bonding with your horse and forming a strong relationship based on absolute trust takes time, and lots of it. In my own experience, I have found that spending lots of time working on ground manners (six months or more) makes getting in the saddle much easier. A horse who minds you on the ground will be more likely to mind you when you’re riding him.

Step Three
Finally, you need to set a schedule of time with your horse that is predictable, consistent, and graduated. Horses love their routines, and if you establish a regular one of time with your horse, he will come to expect it and even look forward to it. Once you have an established routine, you can throw in the occasional deviation from it and your horse will be able to take it in stride because he trusts you. By “graduated,” I mean that you should introduce new things slowly, in small steps, so that each step is not only painless, but actually pleasant for both of you. Remember, horses don’t see degrees of danger. To them, everything is life and death. You must get to the point where your horse believes that when he is presented with something new, his “fight or flight” reaction will be trumped by his trust in you.